


The Calm

by graspthesanity



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Really wanted to explore this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-03 00:19:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19452502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graspthesanity/pseuds/graspthesanity
Summary: Armitage finds himself feeling sorry for Snoke's new apprentice.





	The Calm

When a man breaks, all the world beneath him rocks a lullaby, fondling in the oddest of ways, reminding that there is nothing left and soon enough the eyes will be split open to see all the disaster and damage done. It's like seeing the crumbles of the cosmos. 

I grabbed the bloodied Kylo, knowing that he would never manage to do anything in regular combat with his broken arm, no matter how much Force he had in him, I couldn't believe in him being someone who would lead us to a greater finale. I didn't know what Snoke had seen in him. 

I had seen the world break under this man's force so many times already within the span of a year. There was nothing uncommon about him, just a scared teenager who would have Snoke take him in his chambers, who knows what happened behind those closed doors. He'd come out bruised and bewildered, as if drugged. But I didn't bother to check in with the man who was still stumbling in his last teenage years. There was no way he was a child with everything that was in store for him. I didn't care by the end of the day, I wasn't going to be his friend, merely his ally, and even then the word was awfully bitter to me. 

I would fight him, train him in combat since everyone seemed sceptic and this was all under wraps. We couldn't show the rest of the Order that he had been taught to cuddle rocks with the Force his entire life. 

Frankly I hated being his mentor. Did I feel bad for him? Of course not, but it was hard to walk by sometimes his chambers when he'd forget to close the door behind him and you could hear was loud sobbing when Snoke wasn't around. I never bothered to check until recently, but I did stay outside sometimes until I'd be sure that the sobbing would stop. 

I told myself that I at least had to make sure that the kid was alright, even if we were a few years apart and I happened to be no longer a teenager, technically. I did rise through ranks quite fast, like running up a staircase two stairs at a time. I gave a brief cough, indicating that I was outside the door, but nothing followed so I knocked and walked in to see him looking outside the window, into the stars, moving his head from while to while, as if any of them would move anytime soon and his own shoulders were shaking as if he was still in a deep hysteria.

“Kylo?” I asked, trying to wipe off all the sternness from my voice, but a lot of it was left, not to mention the fact that he was far from pleased about seeing me. He looked at me from head to toe and then tensed up, as if I were going to hit him without an actual fight. Even then I couldn't help but wonder what was breaking him from the inside, but that wasn't my business to ask and neither should I have the interest. 

“What is it?” His voice had gotten deeper since he came into training and now I could see traces of a late night stubble across his cheeks. He was tired. 

I sat next to the chair, uninvited, but Kylo didn't flinch. Instead a glass of water appeared from behind me for him to drink and I watched the Force right in front of me from far from the first time. He watched me as he drank. Kylo didn't offer me any and neither did either of us asked each other questions. 

We sat in pure silence for quite a while, watching the unmoving stars we were both going to see one day and then I looked at the youth with his big nose, scattered moles and wondered if he was truly the one to bring Snoke's plans into power and if so... how? I couldn't see through people like Snoke or Kylo could, but I could get to know them and I let myself relax in the chair, causing Kylo to raise his brow at me. 

“You're too uptight.” He said suddenly, he rarely spoke, outside of the chambers with Snoke. 

“Excuse me?” I asked and straightened my back, resisting the urge to rub my neck. Now, he was giving me a bit of invasive creepiness. 

“Everything will work out.” He said softly. I wondered why had our roles switched and why was he the one now telling me to calm down? But I listened as he gave himself more water and eventually offered me a glass. His voice started to soothe me after a while, as if it were some soft of lullaby and he was trying to get an annoying child to sleep. 

I didn't notice that I had fallen asleep in the chair soon enough. I dreamt of us growing older together, how everything would unfold. I was bad with remembering faces, but he would finish the drawing of his stupid mask, just to shield himself like Darth Vader once had. But in Kylo's case it seemed like a sign of weakness to me. He didn't seem scary once he would wear it, no matter what shape he would decide on. 

I woke up with his face close to my own, a blanket in his hand, instead of using the force to cover me up and I just looked up at him, through semi-closed eyes. 

I could kiss him and taste his fear. 

His eyes widened when I did so. 

I didn't feel smug or anything, I knew that I was confusing a teenager with his own perception of sexuality, because he was truly alone and too many things were going on in his mind, he had to juggle the universe in his mind and let it all out only behind closed doors. 

Kylo pulled me closer by my suit jacket, his tongue welcoming mine in his mouth now and we eased into the kiss. Kylo was clumsy, as if it was a first for him, so I kissed him back patiently, as I would feel his anxiety replace his blood with a tint of adrenaline. He was excited, but his thoughts were deeply shielded from me. He didn't dare to speak, so we kept kissing, as if it was a first time for us both.

I felt sorry for him. 

Eventually we stopped kissing and I saw his teary eyes. 

“Armitage...” I looked up at him, eyes opened fully, uncomfortable from the mere mention of my name, but I let it slide. Then he hesitated but put a hand on my cheek, the bandaged one and bruised one, as I kissed it. I don't think anyone understood the troubled teenager and neither did I. But I could try. 

“I'm scared.” He stated and I just nodded, our roles shifting all the time like sunsets in places which were graced with them. I took his hand and kissed it again, caressing his fingers. 

The blankets, now I noticed, where from his own bed and I had no indication of how long we had stayed in the chairs and how long he looked at me, wondering what should've his next move been. 

We held no future. We were pawns for Snoke. I knew that, yet, I went to bed with him. Kylo stripped and so did I to our underwear and we laid with each other, legs tangled and I held him, as he cried. He didn't speak of anything new, of anything that I didn't know. 

There was no love to speak of. 

So when I walked in, many years to follow to see Snoke slashed in two because of a girl, I knew everything. I could see the abuse Snoke gave him, the night where we didn't sleep together and the runaway girl which he held the love he once wanted to give. The problem was that I didn't want it at the time and just like any conversation, any offer, words, feelings, expire-

I coughed out blood on the floor as he choked me, looking up at my new Supreme Leader, never to be the teenager who I had once comforted ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to write some canon set Kylux and here it is! Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> For my other work, and to know why I use AO3, see here: https://graspthesanity.wordpress.com/2019/06/09/why-i-use-ao3/


End file.
